Have you ever counted how many times you peer into the mirror everyday? According to a survey carried out in the UK, the national average for women is 34 times a day, which works out to every half an hour in a 16 hour day. However, this obsession with one’s looks is no longer reserved for the fairer sex. Men are not far behind as the same survey reveals that men peek at the mirror 27 times a day.
After all, the way you look does reflect your confidence. You’ll find yourself walking with a slight spring in your step and with your head held an inch higher if you’ve had your hair straightened or your face polished. Our looks al-so play an important role in how people perceive us.
“Imagine this situation: you walk into a bank. There are four counters. Your eyes flick over all four people. Believe me, you `will’ find yourself gravitating towards the one who is physically more pleasant to look at,” says 35-year¬old Rana with a smirk.
“When people come to my company for a job, the first aspect we are supposed to pay attention to while scrutinis¬ing them is their appearance. Someone who is naturally beautiful or strikingly attractive is definitely given priority as compared to an average looking person or a person with a physical flaw,” says Rehan who heads the Human Resource Department of a multinational company.
But there is a sea of people out there, who are not blessed with an hour glass body or flawless skin; who struggle with hair fall and bald spots, acne and obesity. But that doesn’t make them lock themselves up in their rooms and declare self exile. That doesn’t mean that they don’t make a success of their lives.
Forty-year-old Zehra, who has recently been promoted to a managerial post at a pharmaceutical company, is far from a size zero. “My obesity has been something I’ve had to learn to live with ever since I entered my teens. I suffer from a hormonal imbalance and despite a lot of medicines, I’ve always been labelled `fat’. I have faced prejudice at work but I’ve learned to take it all in my stride. Today, I’ve proved my mettle, I’m proudly independent and suc¬cessful.”
Zehra admits that it’s important to look presentable but surely what people do and achieve is more important than how they look, she claims. “It’s important not to jump to conclusions about people or judge a book by its
cover. In my personal experience, peo¬ple who pay excessive attention to their looks are those who are actually compensating
the absence of a skill or making up for a charac¬ter flaw. “
It’s good to pay attention to your appearance, but if thinking about the way you look takes over your life, that’s when it becomes obsessive. Some people’s behaviour crosses the lines of acceptability and may manifest itself into the form of a phobia or disor¬der. They even have a name for it: the Body Dysmorphic Disorder, often dubbed `imagined ugliness.’ People suffering from this condition believe they are so unattractive and unacceptable to others that they even avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed.
This obsession with one’s looks is worse than ever in this day and age, when the media bombards us with im
ages of size zero women and a plethora of fairness creams (for both sexes) hit the market shelves, promising milk-white skin, along with instant proposals. Cosmetic companies have managed to equate perfect looks with love, success and a perfect life in our minds: and we take them at their word and spend unimaginable amounts of cash on their products .
This obsession with looks is also fuelled by the marriage market which thrives on girls who fit the criterion, i.e. tall, fair and slim. “I saw my sister suffer rejection time and again because she was too short. People acted as if her height was a deformity,” shares 28-year-old Shehnaz. “My mother would always nag her to wear two-inch heels wherever she went. Naturally I became obsessed by my height too.” Today, Shahnaz and her sister are both mar¬ried to the men of their choice. “My husband’s love and attention has brought me out of this fixation over my ap¬pearance. Being accepted for who you are is an unparal¬leled security which no fairness cream or laser treatment can provide,” is her advice to all young girls.
Twenty-five-year-old Zeenat has just bagged a B. Ed degree, topped her class and earns an enviable salary as an A’ levels teacher at a reputed school. There is, how-ever, one blemish on the canvas of her seemingly fruit¬ful existence. Her skin colour. Maybe in some part of the world her skin would be termed bronze but here she has always been labelled `kaali’ (black).
Zeenat, however, is nonchalant about her physical appearance. “As a child it was difficult in school to come to terms with the fact that people judged me by the colour of my skin. I’ve shed many tears over why my teachers and peers overlooked me. But not any more. I’ve vowed not to let my life revolve around my looks. God has blessed me with a quick mind and I’ve realised all my dreams,” she confides in me serenely. As an afterthought, she adds, “After all, in the words of Khalil Gibran: Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart!”