Woman on the Legal Front

Two female lawyers have been making great strides when it comes to securing rights for
women. You! takes a look 
Generally speaking, this lady is known for her work. Mrs Rashida Patel is the president of Pakistan Women’s Lawyers Association (PAWLA) and has also been the recipient of PAWLA’s `Life Time Achievement Award’. She has behind her a legacy when it comes to women’s rights. “Our mission is to create legal awareness to-wards redressing the loopholes/ gaps in the law regarding women; addressing women’s legal needs; imparting comprehensive knowledge about law relating to women in Pakistan; and to strive to empower women,” informs Ms Patel. Under her wing PAWLA has become extremely developed. It currently strives for women’s right, equality and equity by reaching out to women, ad-dressing their legal and eco­nomic issues. In addition, PAWLA is delivering profes­sional and legal services, and economic counselling to Pak­istani women. It is also actively involved in net-working with NGOs, the government and other concerned institutions. Rashida Patel has always been vocal against what she calls the `Black Laws’; laws which pre-vent women from reaching their potential and hinder their rights in the process. “These laws, such as the Hudood Ordinance, which were enacted during the Zia regime and his successors, really impede women’s way to emancipation. That is not all, Pakistan is a signatory to the UN Charter – CEAW (Convention for the Elimination of all Kinds of Discrimination against Women), and as such is bound to bring the laws of the country in conformity with this convention – so far, however, this has not been the case. We demand that the government abolish all discriminatory laws and practices against women,” she insists.

The problems do not stop at the inadequacy and at times prejudice of the law. Truly the situation is further complicated by the fact that women them-selves do not know anything about their rights. On the one hand, the laws have been interpreted in a way to benefit the male and victimize women but on the other hand women hardly know anything about the legal course of registering a case or hiring the help of a lawyer and following a court procedure.

They do not have access to counselling and also cannot pay the cost as they are mostly de-pendent on the males of their family. When it comes down to the implementation of the law, women do not have a clue as to what they are supposed to do.

Rashida is very critical of the tribal and feudal set up, in which women are looked down as inferior. It is due to this mindset that women in Pakistan are physically tortured as well as mentally and verbally abused. That’s why domestic violence is a common phenomenon and has been thriving despite the human rights activists’ hue and cry over it. No doubt, there are a number of women in Pakistan who have successfully made a mark in all walks of life be it economically, socially, politically, through sports or anything else for that matter. Many have even gone on to gain international recogni­tion for their work; however, there has been no respite from crimes against women. Instead, the cases of abuse against women have increased over the years. Only the modus operandi has changed. To bring a change, Pakistan must do away with the discriminatory laws, particularly the Hudood Ordinance. As far as the Taliban-style Shariat is concerned, it has really damaged the cause of women. The women in the tribal and feudal set-ups are already exploited and the Taliban mentality has further added to their woes.

Rashida has also written a book titled `Woman versus Man,’ which discusses legalities concerning the Hudood Ordinance and Zina, family laws, abuse, marriage, divorce, adultery, maintenance of children, contraception and crimes of honour. It is an indispens­able guide for lawyers and women. Eminently readable, containing several case studies and real life examples the book is an essential read for all.

Women on the Legal Front

Noted Lawyer and human rights activist Asma Jahangir is another lawyer of inter-national repute. She expresses similar views on the status of women in Pakistan. She is the current Chairperson of the Pakistan Human Rights Commission (HRCP) and has also been Special Rapporteur of the UN Commission on Human Rights.
HRCP undertakes activities in the areas of awareness, monitoring, fact-finding, activist mobilisation, lobbying, agitation, and intervention in courts related to human rights violation and deprivation. One of its main aims is spreading awareness about human rights amongst the people. The main idea here is to mobilize public opinion by collecting information and disseminating knowledge about human rights.
“The laws of our country are very discriminatory against women. On the average, over .500 cases of abuse on women take place every year. It is also pertinent to note here that only 10 per cent of the cases are re-ported while the remaining 90 go unreported.
Judging from these figures it is not hard to analyse the state of women’s rights in our society. The cold hard fact here is that all women are not brave enough to speak for themselves. They can-not file a complaint against their family members; most cannot afford any judicial actions
against people they call their own. Most of the women are not economically independent, so they wouldn’t dare go to court as they need money to hire a lawyer and bear other expenses for the procedure,” informs Asma Jahangir, who has been defending the rights of .women irrespective of their class and creed for decades.
If and when a woman finds herself in a sticky situation, ultimately she has to learn to live with it. In the rural areas, it is often the case that the family men themselves implicate their women; here the women cannot actually go ahead and do any
thing at all because they will be left homeless and more helpless than before. It is important to state that over 50 per cent, of women do not even have pacifisms to lawyers and cannot afford the court expenses. And it is not just the rural areas but also the urban areas which are witness to a number of domestic violence cases such as karo-kari, watta satta, sang chatti, stove burning, and disfigurement through Acid throwing and even the practice of marrying women to the Holy Quran.
The HRCP has made these cases a personal mission. Numerous cases of domestic abuse are received by the organisation on a daily basis. Some of these cases also include harassment at the workplace and of women languishing in jails. “During our visits to prisons, we find that most of the women inmates have been implicated in false cases by their suspicious family members. Some of the women even have their minor children living in jails with them in deplorable conditions; these children are under constant risk of becoming hardened criminals,” laments Asma. It is these jails which also expose the women to a number of diseases including HIV Aids due to the presence of foreign women.
Talking about the legal front Asma advocates the abolishment of the discriminatory laws against women such as the Hudood ordinance and the jirga system. “The jirga system is based on cruelty where the local sardars and feudal lords can pass verdicts which al-most always have a complementary clause ending or destroying the life of innocent women.
Matrimony and the law
Islam and our laws allow women to marry out of her choice. But our social setup interprets it wrong. Had we rightly interpreted the laws then cases of the marriages of Humaira Abbas, Riffat Afridi and others would not have made headlines. There is also shortage of shelter homes for women. We need to provide more shelters to women on the pattern of Darul Aman and Edhi Homes. The irony is that with the passage of time, the women’s rights record is deteriorating despite the Government’s claims that they are fighting for women’s rights and improving the situation.
The Taliban must go
Ms. Jahangir, one, of Time Magazine’s `Women of the Year in 2003,’ strongly advocates rule of the law, “Rule of the Law is what can guarantee rights for everyone irrespective of one’s gender. Just imagine: Islamic militants in the southern parts of the country have set up self-styled courts which have further antagonised women, rendering them further helpless to have access to their rights. Areas like Swat, Buner and Malakand etc have been hijacked by the religious fanatics, who are dead against giving women any kind of rights. The way the girls’ colleges and schools were burnt speaks for itself and defines the mentality of the Taliban.”
Asma believes that every religion pleads goodness and no religion advocates the violation of the basic human rights. It is the wrong interpretation of the lawsby mullahs, which has landed women in distress. It is wrong for one to thrust religion on anybody and rigid and unrealistic interpretations of Islam need to be changed.

Dress circle

Such restrictions usually follow a sequence: Ban on jeans may lead to further bans, for instance, on bare heads; and it’ll go on and on and perpetuate. I don’t think this kind of compulsion is insignificant. This won’t save us from Talibanisation.
on a mid-Tuesday morning last week, Lahore’s Kinnaird College has a rather lazy feel. Girls, mostly in groups, loiter around the courtyard shaded by age-old trees; some hurry along climate of conservatism and the perceived threat to security. It is sad that a universally accepted casual dress is being banned here,” says Prof Sirajuddin. She however believes that educational institutions have a reason to be cautious.
But, according to her, this is not necessar­ily the right approach. “The only way to fight Talibani­sation is by communal coming together. Not be driven by con­tradictions and hypocrisies,” she urges Dr Hasan views ban on girls wearing jeans as an outcome of Talibanisation  – “liberalism or enlightenment cannot be con-fined to dress code. We need a long-term policy and a short-term programme to fight obscu­rantism. A whole exercise in psychological warfare is needed to change the mindset of the pub­lic.”
Not allowing jeans in today’s times is a symbol of submission. It has nothing to do with the general perception of jeans signifying western values and hence against our eastern culture. In fact, it is all about the fear of the Taliban marching towards us. Such pet­tiness about wearing jeans or sleeveless shirts or for that matter a black abaya will get us nowhere. Importantly, we have to find ways to be ourselves, our own selves. It’ll take loads of guts – and desperation.I probably to a lecture room, others cluster around benches or in verandas deep in some conversation… what’re they talking about; gossiping? I’m curious to know. I look around to observe their dress code and see colourful dupattas, long and short shirts with loose trousers or shalwars, most­ly bare headed, an occasional black burqa – but no jeans.
My visit comes a week after the news of ban on jeans at KC gained some press cover-age. Reportedly, the KC administration imposed restriction on jeans and tight-fitted dresses in lieu of possible terrorist threats to liberal educational institutions. The students are instructed to wear eastern attire with a mandatory dupatta — and these measures, Dr Nikhat Khan, Principal Kinnaird College Lahore, told an English newspaper, were in line with the government notification on the
recommended security for schools and col leges.
But, Rubina Shahid, senior KC teacher, has a different point of view: “Media is unnecessarily getting caught up with the jeans issue and spreading panic in the soci­ety. It has nothing to do with Talibanisation.” She explains that KC has always advocated a modest dress code, which is cotton shalwar kameez with dupatta. “Jeans have been restricted on KC campus for years, just like sleeveless shirts, loud make-up and flashy jewellery – basically anything that’s ostenta­tious is not allowed,” she informs TNS. She shows a `yellow card’ issued to a student for wearing jeans in Oct 2008 to prove that the College administration has kept a check due on the students’ dress code. “But pehaps have penalised them for violating it only in rare cases,” she states Like most other educational institutions realizing the Taliban threat, KC, too, has beefed-up its security. Students are checked at the gate, their bags are searched, and also the entry of cars inside the College premises has been restricted. “Now we are showing much greater security concern and are fol­lowing the rules more diligently – and in the process the students’ attire gets checked,” she says. Shahid brushes aside as “rubbish” that KC is getting wary of the Taliban threat — and hence adopting possible precautions. At most she admits “the condition is insecure. We have to be careful”.
Some students of 4th semester English Literature though accept that the College administration has become more stringent with rules in recent days because of the increasing threat from the Taliban. “Men stare at us when we enter or leave the Col­lege. We feel insecure. So, I feel, the dress restriction is for our benefit. The general environment is such that we have to show more restrain in our dressing up,” says Shahrina Farrukh.
Whatever the rationale behind the strict reinforcement of the dress code at KC – an age-old dress restriction or precaution against possible terrorist attacks, it encour­aged the Government College University to follow suit. The University has set up a “Such restrictions usually follow a sequence: Ban on jeans may lead to further bans, for instance, on bare heads; and it’ll go on and on and perpetuate. I don’t think this kind of compulsion is insignificant. This won’t save us from Talibanisation.”
notice board at the main gate announcing restriction on wearing of jeans. GCU regis­trar Faisal Khursheed is reported to have said that the ban is for female students only.
The debate about jeans has occupied Lahoris for the whole of last week. So, what’s the problem with jeans? Rubina Shahid maintains that jeans are for casual wear, and “when girls wear them to the College their attitude towards education becomes casual too”. Prof. Shaista Sirajuddin, Head of the Eng­lish Department Punjab University, believes, Jeans are associated with the West, a specif­ic world order”. Hence, this aversion to denim trousers.
Dr Mehdi Hasan says that if an institu­tion has a fixed uniform then it is obvious that any dress other than the uniform is not acceptable. But in case of no uniform, any ban or restriction cannot be justified.” He recalls that there was a time when students, teachers and government functionaries were not allowed to wear jeans because it was con­sidered an informal dress. After Americani­sation of our culture it is now quite accept-able.” What is behind the objection to jeans? “The real motive behind the objection to jeans appears to be prompted by the overall

Not a curse

marriage and child bearing may be a central part of most eastern and even western societies, but in Pakistan motherhood is almost an obsession. This ideology has strong cultural roots and society treats procreation as a foremost if not the only reason for marriage. Hence you come across a lot of couples who have become parents by the time first wedding anniversaries arrive.
Society generates active pressure on couples to join in the mad rush. A Pakistani woman was quoted in a research published in the Social Science and Medicine journal saying that she was “coerced” by her mother-in-law to seek treatment for fertility following the first week of her marriage. These practices are born out of a culture that treats childlessness as the worst possible misfortune. Imagine the ordeal of those couples that voluntarily delay kids, or worse still, have been unable to conceive for medical reasons, completely out of their own control.

grants-for-single-mothers-300x297
About 21.7 per cent of all couples in Pakistan are unable to have children, and most of these couples unfortunately are faced with an extreme social stigma. Despite the fact that the international male to female ratio in the known causes of infertility is about 40:60, the inability to produce children, and even just male offspring, is often regarded solely as a female problem in our society. Women hence serve as the object of most in-fertility treatments, even if the problem ac­tually lies with the male!
This traditional perception bias results in women’s excessive responsibility and guilt for reproductive failure, regardless of its ac­tual causes. Childless women are not only so­cially stigmatised and isolated, their inability to bear children also results in severe marital dissonance. Childlessness is regarded as a common cause for divorce and separation and is also the most readymade rationale for husbands to remarry, even if they have never had any medical tests to verify their own fer­tility. Hence, infertility becomes a “master status” for undermining any other merits and achievements women might have.
“All of this” says sociologist Dr Fateh Mohammad Burfat, “is because of the struc­tural hierarchical nature of Pakistani society, which is essentially male-dominated. Male infertility is a much bigger stigma than fe­male infertility; a woman can somehow still survive while being publicly known as infer-tile. But for a man this is an ignominy that he cannot hear and he will try to avoid any med­ical tests to determine his fertility status and conveniently shift the blame to the female”.
Many women have sadly internalised this cultural paradigm. So much so that in many cases, it is not the male spouse that generates the bulk of this extreme social pressure, but other women themselves. Whether it is in-laws or other random acquaintances, it is usu­ally other women who not only subject child-less women to contempt and exploitation, but some even brainwash husbands into maltreat­ing their wives.
Dr. Burfat argues that such behaviour too is a byproduct of the same social structure. “Men and women in a society are not isola­ted; their roles are conditioned by society, so it is not so hard to understand why many women themselves reinforce the value of male dominance. Women who hold the wife responsible for infertility without casting any blame on the husband are only reinforcing how they have been raised.”
The desire to have children is a natural phenomenon for most couples. So there is in­evitable and unavoidable personal psycholog­ical struggle that a childless person may ex­perience.
There is clearly no concept of privacy when it comes to the issue of child bearing. Every khala, phuphi and aunty will consider
it their God-given responsibility to bombard a newly married girl with questions like, “So, what are you waiting for?” or “When will your mom and dad be blessed with grandchil­dren?” or “When are you telling us the good news?”!
These pestering questions come just as fre­quently from close family as from complete strangers, explains one woman on condition of anonymity. “Initially. I used to take the questions in my stride, even laugh them off, but after a while they became explicit, it al-most drove me crazy but for the support of my husband. People, who hardly know me, never miss a chance to stick their nose in my business. Why should I explain to a com­pletely unknown woman sitting next to me at a wedding why I don’t have kids, and when will I, and how many I want,” she fumes
Such intrusiveness creates a milieu that further exacerbates a childless women’s awareness of her inability and further adds to a childless couple’s disappointment, despair and pain in being unable to fulfil their paren­tal instincts. For many women because moth­erhood is synonymous with femininity, they are led to believe that childless women are deprived of the most central element of their gender identity. Many, therefore, tend to suf­fer from low-self esteem, social withdrawal and other socio-psychological trauma.
The stigma is most devastating for the less educated women without careers or other non-familial aspirations. In illiterate or less educated families, particularly in rural Pakistan, they may even be subjected to do­mestic violence or other dangerous forms of so-called infertility treatments performed by local quacks that may endanger their lives.
Since the majority of Pakistani women are actually over fertile (a Pakistani woman gives birth to an average of 3.73 children compared to 1.5 in Europe and 1.9 in the US according to latest figures released by the CIA World Factbook), the problems faced by one-fifth of the country’s couples that are infertile are ob­scured amongst the myriad of overpopulation issues. Depictions of childless couples in the media are few and far between, and there is a pressing need for family planning and popu­lation welfare organisations to run mass awareness campaigns aimed at reducing and resisting the social stigma of infertility.
Additionally, male doctors should be inclu­ded in fertility treatment programmes to mo­tivate men to take fertility tests. In many ca­ses, letting go of ego issues can actually help a couple conceive

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day does not mean that we appreciate our mother for one day in the year and then go back to our routine of neglecting her or taking her for granted; it should be a reminder that she needs to be appreciated everyday.

mother is another word for Love’, these words written on a card sent to my mother years ago, have stayed etched in some corner of my mind over the years. Maybe the reason is that it encapsulates the entire personality of a mother in just a few simple but deeply profound words. The reason being that when we describe a mother we immediately assume that everything that she does for her children is out of love.

happy-mothers flower

Her tenderness, her comforting words, her go­ing out of the way to make her children get the best, and also her strict but necessary scolding to keep her offspring in check, are all symbolic of love. Because out of love comes care. And care is the most important aspect of love. To care whether the children are well fed, well rested, well dressed, well-educated, well-mannered, etc., all spring from love. Another aspect of love
is to understand. And who can bet-ter understand her children than a mother. She un­derstands their shortcomings, their nasty behav­iour, their tears, their needs, and their failures and accepts them. And most important of all, hers is the on­ly kind of love we take for granted, or maybe can take for granted. Can

such a love ever be repaid? No, because it is unconditional. Not done out of duty but out of uncontrolled compassion.

Can just one day in the whole year be enough to pay tribute to her? Will a poem in her honour be enough? Or can a bouquet or gift given on Mother’s Day repay her for her love and devo­tion? Not really, but that does in no way mean that we should not celebrate Mother’s Day. There are many things we must do all the year round for which we have allotted one day to re-mind ourselves of their importance like Earth Day or Tobacco Day or Kashmir Day, etc. To celebrate a certain day does not mean that for the rest of the year we put these things out of our minds. For instance, tobacco kills and we need to remind ourselves of the dangers and have to stay away from this deplorable habit throughout our lives. In the same manner, Mother’s Day is not celebrated to just appreciate her for one day in the year and then go back to our routine of ne

glecting her or taking her for granted. It should be a reminder that she needs to be appreciated everyday. Of course, that also does not mean that one needs to give her expensive gifts everyday. Her best gifts are her children and their love for her.
She needs to be appreciated everyday of our lives. A mother is the most irreplaceable and precious person and even though there is nothing that we can do to fully repay what she does for us, we can try to do our bit to help or to make her life easier., Celebrate• Mother’s Day, make her a card, give her a gift, even a mug that says. `World’s best Mother’, but do a small thing everyday to make her feel special. Even if it is just making her a cup of her favourite beverage and asking her t take a few minutes to put her feet up and take a break, or helping in the kitchen or giving her asurprise by cleaning her room! Spare a couple of minutes and give her a neck massage. Even avoiding an argument by keeping calm
when she is angry and then explaining your point of view in are spectable way would be a noble thing to do. Ask her to share your childhood forays and follies, sit with her to make a family album. Accompany her to the market. There are many ways to do just a little bit everyday. Even ifshe does not tell you, she will knowin her heart and will bless you. If you do not agree with the ad-vice she gives you (of course, moth­ers are human too, even though most of the time we forget that) do not make her feel silly or stupid. In other words, `give her a break’. And a simple “Thanks Mom” goes a long way in making her feel appreciated.

And for those of us who have ailing and aged parents, it is the `litmus test’ in tolerance. They forget, they become hard of hearing, they become difficult like kids. So what? We might be in the same position later on in our lives. And a very important thing to remember is that if our own children do not see us being tolerant towards an ageing parent, they will never be tolerant towards us when we are in the same stage in our lives. The saying goes “It all comes round” and most definitely, it does. For those of us who have been unfortunate to have lost our dearest possession, a mother, do something worthwhile in her memory. Plant a tree, feed the poor or help the needy in her name. Most of all cherish her memory and thank the Almighty for the uncountable moments she made your life easier and better

Playing Mother

It’s difficult to accept someone else stepping into your mothers shoes, but stepmothers too have to make tough adjustments

 it was the wicked stepmother who ordered the huntsman to cut out Snow White’s heart; it was the wicked stepmother who banished Cinderella to the attic to ensure that she would not be able to go to the ball. Right from the formative stage of our lives, we are fed fairy tales where the stepmother is the villain or, to be more precise. the vamp. She’s the one who tries to make your existence hell; who makes you scrub the floor and wash the dishes; who tries to come between you and your father. But not always.

My sister and I lost our mom to cancer when we were still in our teens. The loss was nothing short of devastating­. It was as if our regular supply of oxygen had been ripped off and we were being forced to gasp through the motions of living. We tried to pretend that the caresses and conversations our friends shared with their mothers were not painful to us. It was like waking up every morning just to realise that there was a bottomless void in our lives; an emptiness that would never cease to exist. And there was that indescribable ache in our father’s eyes which con­stantly haunted us.

In this entire scenario another person came into our lives. Our step-mom. At that point I lamented why `we’ were being forced to adjust to a completely new person just when we had lost the one person whom our lives revolved around. But in all our emotional tur­moil, we gave little thought to what a Herculean adjustment my step-mom had to make.

Here we were — two teens, in the most trying phase of our existence. Compromise was a word unknown to

us. Yet, with an open mind she came into our lives and waived aside many of our idiosyncrasies, youthful pessi­mism and juvenile habits. She was there for us when we went through our boy trouble; she pleaded our case to our father on several occasions; she made sure we married the right people;she rejoiced at our weddings; she held my hand as I screamed through labour and cried unashamedly when she held her grandchild in her arms. And through it all she held my father’s hand.

To recount all that our stepmother has done for us, in one article, would not only be an injustice but also an im­possibility. But from all that she has given us. perhaps the most precious gift was the opportunity of calling someone `Maa’ again, and that was something we had yearned for intense­ly.

It would be misleading and too sim­plistic to say that my step-mom fitted into the role of a mother effortlessly and that we accepted her readily. Nobody tan replace one’s mother, but she did her best to be a mother to us in every way despite the compromising situation she was placed in.

Today, when my sister and I are married and caught up in a life furious­ly revolving around our careers and families, it is my step-mom who is my father’s true confidant, companion and strength. She is the one who treats me to a steaming home-made lunch when I drop in with my daughter unexpected­ly; she’s the one who baby-sits my three-year-old when I’m caught up in my endless social engagements. She is the one who patiently counsels my younger sister over the phone, who is married and living in another part of the world.

This article is to reach out to all those who have lost their mothers and have had to accept someone else step-ping into their mother’s shoes. It is un­thinkable to live a life without a moth­er; and more so to accept someone else in that sacred role.

Most children and teens have a thor­oughly venomous image of a step-mom drilled into their heads thanks to the stereotypes that our society is re­splendent with. But there are many step-moms out there who have careful­ly and patiently picked up the pieces of the lives of many motherless children and taught them how to smile again. This article is a homage to all such selfless step-moms.

When my father married again, a lot of people asked my sister and I, how we were adjusting. I wonder if anyone asked my step-mom

All about mothers

sehar’s mother is bossy. She has to have her way in every-thing. Sometimes, Sehar becomes furious and argues with her mother rudely. Nazia complains that her mother does not spend enough time with her. Her mother works in an office. When she comes home, she is very tired and has to manage the house-hold chores, too. Nazia feels neglected. She is so fed up that she talks to her mother only when it can’t be avoided.
Both Nazia and Sehar have serious problems with their mothers and they are justified to some extent but what about their own behaviour? Consider w h a t Santa has to say w h o h e j u s t lost her mother. M y mom’s dia­betes and heart problem made me
become closer to her. I took care of all her needs. I used to pray for her recovery for I was afraid of losing her. I wished I had cared for her like that before her sickness! I truly realised her value when the fear of losing her set in. We all love our mothers, but we hardly realise their importance until the time of parting comes along. My mother is in a better place, but I truly wish I had taken more care of her during all those years when she was com­pletely fine. I wish I had tolerated her harsh words and restrictions with a good grace.” The truth Have you ever taken care of a newly born baby? A mother has to sacri­fice her personal interests and dreams to look after her children. She has to take great pains to pro­tect and care for her children so that they grow up in the best pos­sible way. And, if she is a working woman, then she really has one of the toughest lives there is.What does she mean?
Whenever you are in pain or trouble, you cry out for “Mom” or “Ammi”. This is because your mother can go to any extentto help you in your hour of need or p a i n . Making you h a p p y lightens up her world a n d brings immense pleasure to her heart. It is only your mother whom you can trust without any fear.
Greeting cards, flowers, gifts, eating out and all that. Anna Jarvis, the pioneer of Mother’s Day, became so upset with the day’s commercialisation that she started protesting against the way its celebrations have evolved into. To her, Mother’s Day is more than giving of gifts, greeting cards and flowers to mothers; or taking them out for lunch/dinner. It signifies remembering and inculcating the true spirit of mother’s love. Just a card, a gift, flowers or eating out can in no way repay for what mothers do for us. So look beyond just these things to cele­brate Mother’s Day.

A mother’s psychology.

These are some of the statements that most of us have heard from our mothers time and again.
* When will you get home?
* How are you feeling now?
* I never behaved like that with my parents.
* You want to know why? Because I say so!
* You are too young for this!
* You never listen to me!
It is important to understand how a teenager’s mother feels in general, She understands that her children} are growing up, but is afraid that her children might get astray or pick some bad habits. So naturally she is worried about them. Ycu need to understand this, and, most importantly, you need to realise why she imposes restrictions on you. It is just that your mother wants you to have the best ,,of everything and keep you away from troubles What you need to do
Mothers want us to be with them when they are down or feeling low or have a problem. They want us ip make them proud with our behave lour, attitude or achievement.
You are most welcome to share their domestic chores and ogler things that your mom really . It always pays to talk to your moth­er and ask what she wants frpm you. This can help bridge so many gaps between you and your moth­er.
Be with her whenever she needs support; and never do anything to hurt her.