Musician Ryan Adams has penned an apology letter over a year after he was accused of harassment and emotional abuse by several women.
The 45-year-old apologized for his past actions, saying that “there are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I’ve mistreated people throughout my life and career.”
In a New York Times report from February 2019, seven women — including Adams’ ex-wife Mandy Moore — accused him of being manipulative, controlling, and obsessive. At the time, Adams denied the claims to the Times via his attorney Brettler.
“All I can say is that I’m sorry,” the singer wrote in his essay, which was published on Friday. “It’s that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life. I’ve gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won’t be accepted by those I’ve hurt.”
Adams added, “I get that and I also understand that there’s no going back.”
“Having truly realized the harm that I’ve caused, it wrecked me, and I’m still reeling from the ripples of devastating effects that my actions triggered,” he shared. “There is no way to convince people that this time is truly different, but this is the albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions.”
“Realizing the consequences of my actions, I took a hard look inwards and sought to find the truth behind them,” Adams explained. “I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall.”
“I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior and will be for my actions moving forward,” he said. “In my effort to be a better man, I have fought to get sober, but this time I’m doing it with professional help. Sobriety is a priority in my life, and so is my mental health. These, as I’m learning, go hand in hand.”
“But I will not bore anyone with stories of my demons or use them to excuse what I’ve done,” he wrote. “I really want to express that I’ve internalized the importance of self-care and self-work. I’m really trying.”
“I hope that the people I’ve hurt will heal,” Adams shared. “And I hope that they will find a way to forgive me.”